Debra Diaz, 39 years old
I grew up in one of the seventeen cities in the United States named Rochester Wikipedia, I felt a certain pride in hanging out with people who were Dominican, Indonesian, Laos, Filipino, Hispanic, etc. My parents taught me good morals, like not judging others by their appearance, though I did have to keep my jaw clenched when I visited relatives. Dating a white guy in college into this lifestyle felt more natural to me than living in Rochester ever did. Gay, bisexual, straight, transgender, black, white, Asian, it was there and it was beautiful. All it took was one semester for me to breakup with my high school boyfriend and fall completely in love with a guy from my dorm. He was the first black guy I had ever dated. Telling your parents about your new boyfriend is hard enough when his skin is the same color as yours, but it becomes even more difficult when he is at the opposite end of the color spectrum as you.
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I exclusively dated white men for many years prior to very recently entering the interracial dating scene. This is new territory for me, but I think it speaks volumes that I've already discovered that it comes with certain stereotypes attached. These are some of the stereotypes I've witnessed, along with things people have actually said to me, or things I've read online. I'm going to attempt to address and dispel these stereotypes surrounding white women who date black men:.
Dating a white guy in college
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That maybe we like each other. I fantasize about our meet-cute. I spent my childhood surrounded by black and brown kids, but when I got to high school, suddenly dating a white guy in college around me was white. Like most of the girls in my class, I wanted attention from the boys. But while they chased after blondes and brunettes, I was ignored. And on those rare occasions a white boy kissed me in the copy-machine room at our high school, or when a white boy told me over the phone he had a crush on me, the acknowledgement made me feel chosen. It was addictive. The white boys I grew up with were cool: They rode their skateboards on private property.
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I met a few guys who I liked when I went away. At first, everything was going great. I finally felt like I had met someone who actually understood me and cared for me. He always walked me home after a date to make sure I got home safe. We could talk about anything, and it felt like we understood each other completely. It was magic. Unfortunately, all that changed a few weeks later.